Game of thrones 'the last of the starks' recap, episode 8

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Spoilers ahead for Game of Thrones season 8, episode 4, “The Last of the Starks.”

Eight years ago, trò chơi of Thrones began as a story about a mediocre man sitting on the Iron Throne. It’s set khổng lồ kết thúc as a ferocious battle between two of the most badass women in television history: Cersei Lannister and Daenerys Targaryen. That is, of course, if the writers don’t mess it up. Two weeks ago, that wasn’t a concern. After last night’s episode, however, when recently knighted Brienne of Tarth turned into lớn a pile of tears because her boyfriend was leaving town to see his twin-turned-girlfriover and Missandei was killed off as a war prop, I have sầu a little bit of hesitation.

It’s not that Game of Thrones has jumped the shark, but there’s an eerie sensation gurgling in the pit of my stomach. I’m afraid Jon Snow — sorry, Aegon Targaryen — is going khổng lồ somehow stumble his way onto lớn the Iron Throne. Yes, I vị mean accidentally bumbling his way onto lớn it, lượt thích he bumbles absolutely everything else, và everyone will just yell, “King in the south!” If that happens, I’m going to lớn riot.

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Still, that’s for Future Julia to fuss over. This trò chơi of Game of Thrones installment is all about “The Last of the Starks.” The best word to lớn describe what went down in this episode is “bizarre.” The episode starts in Winterfell where the survivors of the Battle of Winterfell are celebrating their victory after paying their respects to fallen soldiers. The scene in the dining hall is lượt thích something out of tín đồ fiction. People are drinking merrily, hitting on each other, & tearing inlớn delicious food. Life is about consumption, after all, và everyone is looking to consume whatever they can get their hands on.


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Image: HBO
It’s unclear exactly who was eating and who was packing their bellies with strictly wine và ale calories, but points to lớn Podriông chồng, Gendry, Brienne, the Hound, Jon, & Sansa for digging into lớn some meat on camera. (+10) The same rules apply for drinking. There’s a good chance that every single person in that room was drinking, especially after the night they had, but points are only being doled out to those who took a swig on-screen: Daenerys, Jaime, Tyrion, Davos, và Tormund. (+10) Some characters, lượt thích Brienne, were seen both eating và drinking, but it’s the same category. Your character got 10 points, reader. Don’t be greedy.

That was a lot of partying — enough that I’m concerned about the amount of vomit that will stain Winterfell’s grounds by morning & how long the line for hangover potions (I assume, in a world of magic, that there are hangover potions) will be. Even Jon Snow, my go-to lớn choice for this episode’s Least Valuable Character, comments on the possible barf tidal wave situation: “Vomiting is not celebrating.” (+5 for wit) Despite everyone trying their damnedest khổng lồ get as drunk as possible và retire to bed (a big mood), some good comes out of the celebration. Gendry is promoted to Lord Gendry Baratheon of Storm’s End (+25 for a promotion) by Daenerys, who brags lớn Tyrion that he’s “not the only one who’s clever.” (+10 for a brutal put-down)

Caught up in the excitement of Gendry’s new promotion và the fact that they’re not dead, the rest of Winterfell is feeling pretty horny — và I vị mean everyone. Podriông xã attracts two women’s attention (+5 for a bold come-on), và random newcomer Willa manages to hit on Tormund. (also +5) Gendry uses his newfound lordship to ask Arya khổng lồ marry hlặng (+5), và while Arya gives her young love a sweet kiss, she rejects his proposal. “Any lady would be lucky to lớn have sầu you… but that’s not me.” (+10) Go off, Arya! We stan a true queen who knows what she wants out of life. My therapist would be so proud of her.

Gendry wasn’t the only one who got turned down, either. Tormund, everyone’s favorite cheery drunken giant-milker, stumbles toward a table where Brienne, Jaime, & Tyrion are engaging in a friendly game of “confession time.” It’s lượt thích “Would You Rather,” but instead of suggesting an odious circumstance for the players to choose from, this drinking game seems khổng lồ be about guessing details of other people’s lives. It’s all fun & games until Tyrion guesses that Brienne is a virgin. It’s a gross question, asked as if it’s something to be ashamed of when it’s not, and it gets under Brienne’s skin. She stands up, declaring she’s going to take a piss (+10), only khổng lồ be stopped by a drunk Tormund joking about which “coward shit in my pants.” (+5) Brienne isn’t amused (probably because she isn’t a 10-year-old boy who finds poop jokes funny), và she walks right past him.

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Image: HBO
It’s only when Jaime goes after Brienne, blocking Tormund from doing so, that we get to lớn the most satisfying hookup of the evening: Brienne and Jaime. (+15 sex points khổng lồ both) There’s a term for this kind of long buildup to two characters finally getting together: a slow burn. Their relationship has been chugging along at glacial tốc độ, but whenever we were ready lớn give sầu up on them, they’d decide lớn go for a swlặng in a lake or something, & the anticipation came rushing back. It’s addictive sầu. That’s what Brienne and Jaime have sầu worked with for far too long. With a little light banter out of the way (“I’ve sầu never slept with a knight before,” +5 to Jaime), our favorite OTPhường. finally cements their love, or at least their lust. While I’d love sầu to take all of Tyrion’s points away for being caustic & obnoxious during their game, I’m just happy Brienne & Jaime finally got their moment.

One last interaction from the dining hall needs lớn be addressed: a short but important conversation between the Hound và Sansa. It’s been a while since they’ve sầu seen each other, but the Hound is aware of everything she’s dealternative text with since their last encounter. Sansa has survived some monsters, and when he comments on the list of men she’s had to lớn fight — và beat — lớn reach the current stage of her life, she declares, “Without Ramsay, Littlefinger, and the rest, I would have sầu stayed a little bird all my life.” (+10) It’s a remarkable line from an absurdly powerful woman, but the writers’ decision to lớn have sầu Sansa seemingly attribute her sense of worth to lớn a man who raped her is upsetting. There’s a possibility that Sansa’s words were supposed lớn inspire a sense of the power she’s reclaimed by killing the men who made her feel powerless, but that doesn’t come through clearly.

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The comtháng throughline of this Game of Thrones season is powerful woman fighting for what they deem lớn be theirs. Cersei is ready to defkết thúc her place on the Iron Throne after conniving her way there. Daenerys is ready khổng lồ take bachồng her birthright. Arya is on the road to lớn becoming the warrior queen she’s always dreamt of being. And Sansa is holding down the fort as Lady Stark of Winterfell. It hasn’t been an easy road for any of them, but Daenerys keeps adding to her pile of anxieties. She wants lớn be with Jon, her nephew, but the only way that can happen is if he doesn’t tell his family about his true heritage. When he asks how they can be together, she spits, “I just told you how,” then walks away. (+10)


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Image: HBO
Damn, girl! Ice ice, baby! Does Jon listen? Nope! That would require Jon doing anything sensible, và as he’s proven time và time again this season, that’s just not his style. Jon calls for a family meeting out by Bran’s favorite tree, which seems like such a long way to hike when they own an entire castle filled with private meeting rooms, but I digress!

During this meeting, Jon asks Bran if he should tell Arya và Sansa about his actual lineage, và Bran stoically replies, “It’s your choice.” (+10) This scene makes me think that we’ve all read Bran wrong. He may have appeared to lớn be a sociopath, but the more I see the little games Bran plays, the more likely he’s just a messy kid thriving on his family’s interpersonal drama. My therapist wouldn’t be proud of hyên ổn, but I am. Jon swears Arya & Sansa khổng lồ secrecy, và Bran proceeds lớn tell them everything he knows. It’s a good plan, except that it sucks. Sansa tells Tyrion everything practically five minutes later, betraying her brother (+15). You know what they say about secrets: just don’t.

Baông chồng at Winterfell, in the warm rooms that make more sense for cool private meetings, is another family therapy session. Tyrion & Jaime, my two favorite brothers, are just hanging out và chatting about girls lượt thích a couple of 14-year-old boys waiting for dinner. Tyrion acknowledges that he’s happy Jaime và Brienne are finally together, joking, “I’m happy you’ll finally have sầu lớn climb for it.” (+5) All these years of people making short jokes, and now Tyrion gets to return the favor while his handsome, perfect brother laughs in front of a crackling fireplace. How vì we get 90 minutes of just this? Who at HBO should I send my strongly worded người fiction to?

Unfortunately, their harmonious drinking session is interrupted by Bronn, who is wielding a crossbow and looking for a fight with a “pair of gold-plated cunts,” as he calls them. (+5) Before long, his threatening presence turns inlớn actual fisticuffs. Bronn punches Tyrion in the nose (+10) & shoots an arrow behind Jaime’s head just to lớn prove he can take them out whenever he wants. Whoever said testosterone wasn’t an issue clearly hasn’t walked around Winterfell in the last few centuries. Just as quickly as their fight begins, however, it ends. Bronn partakes in a little drinking himself (+10), then makes a proposition khổng lồ Tyrion and Jaime. He’ll join their alliance (+15 to Bronn for joining it, +15 lớn Tyrion for forming it) if they can secure hyên a noble title once they defeat Cersei. Did he just betray the wickedest queen of the south? Hell yes. (+15 betrayal points)

After a handful of secret meetings, confessions, booty calls, a random declaration that Dorne has joined Daenerys’ alliance (+15 lớn Daenerys), drunken buổi tiệc ngọt nights, and I imagine an inevitable amount of vomit on the hallway floors, people are ready to lớn move out. Arya và the Hound are off on their own spinoff-style adventure (I’m calling it The Wolf & The Hound — it’s all yours, HBO), which is kickstarted by Arya joking that she’d probably leave sầu the Hound for dead again if they got caught by the wrong company. (+5) The rest of Winterfell’s soldiers (those who weren’t killed by the undead wights & my Ice Baby Boyfriover, the Night King) are traveling lớn meet Cersei head-on. Daenerys hops on her dragon (+20) & takes to lớn the skies.


With everyone leaving trang chính, it’s time for last goodbyes at Winterfell. It wouldn’t be a proper send-off without a backhanded compliment from Tormund, who tells Jon he “weighs as much as two fleas fucking,” (+5) when the latter insists he can’t ride Rhaegal because the dragon needs to lớn heal. What a good friend! How vày I get a friover like Tormund when I’m feeling bloated and need someone lớn tell me I weigh as much as “two fleas fucking”?

This scene really is an excellent reminder of how many people love Jon Snow, a useless man I feel nothing but contempt toward. After talking khổng lồ Tormund, Jon says goodbye to Sam and Gilly (who will forever be Cassie from Skins khổng lồ me) và learns she’s pregnant in the process! (+15 pregnancy points khổng lồ both Gilly and Sam) A beautiful day, indeed! The White Walkers are dead, và Jon Snow is going khổng lồ be a godfather — if he survives the great war with Cersei, that is.

It feels like they just survived one war (because they did), và now they’re already anxious about getting through another. It’s enough lớn drive sầu anyone to lớn self-deprecating comments, like Tyrion, who suggested to lớn Varys that maybe “Cersei will kill us all. That will solve all our problems.” (+5) He may have meant it jokingly, but just a few minutes later, Euron Greyjoy and his band of merry goth pirates appear to lớn showcase just how much damage they can vày. Euron, decked out in a Joy Division-inspired outfit, uses a souped-up scorpion khổng lồ shoot down Rhaegal (+150 dragon-killing points, +25 for named character). Rhaegal takes three large arrows to the body toàn thân và crashes into lớn the xanh sea below. (+25 for memorable death)

If that doesn’t scream, “Don’t mess with me,” I don’t know what does. Maybe the dramatic overuse of eyeliner? Either way, it’s much better than, say, Jon Snow standing behind a wall and yelling at a dragon lượt thích he did in the last episode. Between taking down Rhaegal & orchestrating an attachồng on Daenerys’ armies arriving by ship, Euron claims a battle victory (+25) no one could have seen coming — not even Dany, even though she was soaring high in the sky & assumedly could see everything below. It’s enough khổng lồ send a message from Cersei. As she says lớn Euron: “So much for the ‘Breaker of Chains.” (+10)


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Image: HBO
Just a quick note: it’s mildly infuriating that these dragons are going down without much of a fight. Aren’t they supposed to lớn be near-invincible? Aegon the Conqueror took all seven kingdoms with three dragons, but Daenerys can’t seem to lớn keep hold of her children. How did she not see a fleet of ships coming from the side before Rhaegal fell to his death in the sea below? I’m not saying this is careless war planning, but I’m a little concerned about the outcome of their fight with Cersei if Arya isn’t there lớn stiông chồng a dagger in someone’s heart at the last second.

Almost as if to lớn prove sầu my point, Daenerys is ignoring all of Tyrion’s suggestions for the upcoming battle. Instead, she wants the people of King’s Landing khổng lồ see just how much of a tyrant Cersei is by letting her evilness seep inkhổng lồ their everyday lives until they have sầu no choice but to lớn revolt. “They should know whom lớn blame when the sky falls upon them.” (+10) It’s one thing khổng lồ ignore randoms hollering at you (kind of like Twitter, but somehow even less traumatic), but it’s another lớn disregard what your inner circle is telling you.

Even Tyrion và Varys have sầu some concerns. The two have sầu a secret meeting to lớn debate the merits of Daenerys versus Jon Snow on the Iron Throne. Varys, who is now in on Jon’s real identity, astutely points out that “if a handful of people know now, then a hundred people will know soon.” (+10) Imagine! Jon Snow finally sitting on the Iron Throne would be the definition of a mediocre man failing up inlớn a position of absolute power. That point even comes up in their conversation. Varys recognizes that because Jon Snow is a man, he’ll be taken more seriously. Finally, someone is speaking to lớn reality’s sad truths!

“Joffrey was a man,” Tyrion returns. “I don’t think a coông chồng is a true qualification.” (+5)

“Because he’s a man, yes, cocks are important, I’m afraid,” Varys argues. (+5)

Good lord, I love the back-and-forth between Varys & Tyrion. I could watch that all day, too. We could gọi it The Imp and the Spider. (HBO, these are all không tính phí, but if you wanted to lớn introduce me to Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, I wouldn’t exactly say no.)


Speaking of my favorite Lannister, all is not well baông chồng trang chính. Jaime learns about the attaông chồng on Daenerys’ ships from a sassy Sansa, who wastes no time declaring, “I always wanted lớn be there when they executed your sister. Seems like I won’t get the chance.” (+10) It’s enough for hyên khổng lồ walk back his decision to lớn live peacefully with the woman of his dreams & instead return to King’s Landing khổng lồ kill Cersei once and for all. Or maybe sleep with her again? I can’t tell with Jaime, but he’s trying khổng lồ be a good man these days, và that makes me believe sầu he won’t fall back into his incestuous ways with the female embodiment of pure evil. Even though I see hyên that way & a teary-eyed Brienne tries to convince hlặng that he’s a good man, Jaime can’t stop the guilt wrecking his mind. “She’s hateful, và so am I.” (+10)

That’s just not true, Jaime! It hurts me that you think of yourself this way! Where’s Tormund when you need hlặng to say something nice, possibly about your weight! “True hate” Cersei’s actions down in King’s Landing. She’s gathered her army behind the city walls where she’s holding Missandei hostage. It’s time for negotiations to lớn begin. She sends Qyburn out lớn meet Tyrion khổng lồ discuss their queens’ demands. Both Daenerys & Cersei are stubborn, and neither is willing to submit to the other. Tyrion, in a moment of desperation, moves past Qyburn and pleads with Cersei directly. This is still his big sister, after all. Sure, she’s partially responsible for making his life hell, and she’s partially the reason Bran is paralyzed, & she’s a malevolent tyrant, but family is family. It’s an incredibly brave move sầu for Tyrion to lớn take, especially with a line of archers pointing arrows at his head. It’s also what makes him this week’s MVP. (+20) Tyrion doesn’t want to lớn see anyone hurt, and he does the only thing he can think of: speaks to her maternal side.

“If not for yourself then for your child. Your reign is over, but that doesn’t mean your life has lớn over,” Tyrion pleads. “It doesn’t mean your baby has to die.” (+10)

Cersei, however, doesn’t care. She’s a coldhearted queen. But she needs to prove what she’s capable of to Daenerys. Cersei commands the Mountain to lớn behead Missandei (+25) who says “dracarys” before falling over the edge of the wall. (+25 for memorable death) Daenerys is practically paralyzed at the sight of her trusted friover & ally, but the rage on her face says it all: the true battle for the Iron Throne has arrived.

THE VERGE FANTASY LEAGUE STANDINGS

Andy Hawkins, 495 points

Top scorer: Euron Greyjoy (200 points)

Note: Andy’s bet on Euron Greyjoy certainly paid off. There’s only one dragon left, & if Euron kills hyên ổn, too, well, it’s game over.

Chayên ổn Gartenberg, 475 points

Top scorer: Bronn (55 points)

Note: Bronn may have sầu been otherwise useless in this episode, but sauntering over khổng lồ the Lannister brothers & making his demands while yielding a crossbow was a good decision.

Shannon Liao, 475 points

Top scorer: Sansa Stark (45 points)

Sarah Bisiêu thị Woods, 425 points

Top scorer: Rhaegal (25 points)

Note: Rhaegal may no longer be with us (RIP you magnificent beast), but at least his death helped Sarah move sầu up the rankings.

Tasha Robinson, 4đôi mươi points

Top scorer: Gendry (40 points)

Julia Alexander, 380 points

Top scorer: Jaime Lannister (35 points)

Note: I’m just happy that my sweet baby boy finally made love sầu to lớn his dope girlfrikết thúc, even if that’s not me. I’m totally fine with it. Yep.

Elizabeth Lopatkhổng lồ, 365 points

Top scorer: Daenerys Targaryen (75 points)

Adi Robertson, 150 points

Top scorer: Davos Seaworth (10 points)

Note: Adi really wants to take last place, but even the characters she didn’t think would bởi too much for her continue to show up &, lượt thích, eat or drink. Their merriness is ruining her plan!